I've seen replies here from Verizon staff (though if anyone can supply a "complaints" email - I'd really appreciate it - I sure can't seem to find one).
As to laptops not being "mobile devices" - I can only point to Verizon promotional literature for FIOS Quantum - much of which includes picture of laptops, and phrases like "watch dozens of channels and programs instantly on your compatible smartphone tablet or computer." (emphasis mine)
I'll also note that the FIOS web interface lets you do everything the mobile app does, watch live and on-demand content from a laptop, and re. the DVR - control recordings, list them, delete them. The ONLY thing you can't do on a laptop is actually watch those recordings.
Not only is that a really annoying lack of functionality, it also seems like false advertising. It would be really nice if Verizon were to fix that.